Curtain
by plainjane108
Summary: What do you do when death is close and the one person you want to tell, you can't find?


**A/N: Hi everyone. This is the first fan fiction I'm publishing, despite having written quite a few. I found it buried in my old files, liked the sound of it and cleaned it up a little. Its just a one-shot written by my more over dramatic self a couple years back. Honestly, its a bit nerve-wracking to be putting this out there, but here we go.**

_**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all recognizable characters/lines/situations. I'm just playing around, folks.**_

**o8o**

Dear Edward,

Today is September 13th, 2011. It has been exactly five years to the day when everything changed. I don't know why I'm writing to you. This letter will probably stay sealed in its envelope and disintegrate before you even think of even going back to Forks.

I don't think you've ever quite realized what happened after you left. I became closer friends with Jacob Black. Apparently, due to the return of several vampires, including Laurent and Victoria, the werewolf gene was triggered. The werewolves saved me in many different ways. It is to them, especially Jacob, that I owe my life.

Today, I'm 23 years old. I feel scared and alone. I don't know how I've gone five years without seeing your face, hearing your voice (except in my head) and smelling you. I don't think I ever told you, but you smell like sunshine and happiness. Your smell was lilacs and the sun on a golden Indian summer's day. It was like rain and fall leaves, freshly mown grass and home. Edward you smelled like home and happiness, I'm sorry I never got to tell you.

I've graduated from UW. I majored in English Literature and I thought I'd like to be a teacher and someday; write a novel, maybe even publish it. But, now, I don't think I have enough time. I suppose anyone would ask why a 23 year old just graduating from college would say that. But as someone once said, I'm a magnet for trouble. You see, Edward I'm dying. I will not die in my bed, asleep, peaceful and old, as you hoped for me. I've been diagnosed with heart disease - I have Myocarditis. I am going to die.

I've been to see a therapist; the doctors recommended one for me, due to some supposed "shock". I told her my edited life story; it's been a sort of a relief, talking to someone. I can't talk to Jake anymore, and my parents are out of the question. So, she thought I should write you a letter because I couldn't tell Jacob or Charlie to pass on a message after I've gone. I've written them letters to be delivered… after. I left you for last.

I hope one day, if one of you come to Forks, they find this. Edward, I have so much to say. I want to be furious at you, throw plates at your head, and hate you. I want to kiss you again and kick you in the balls for not letting us get to making love. But, like always, I can find no other emotion to express other than love. It used to hurt to say your name and think of you. But not anymore, I think my stupid body has finally realized that it's wasting precious, fleeing time. I can now remember you without pain, and it will be such a relief at the end. Edward, I love you, I will love you for whatever amount of time I've got left. But don't let yourself be too bothered by this, just know that someone out there loved you very much.

My life has taken so many unexpected turns since I saw you that day in Biology. I will never regret any of them. Even if you left me, it doesn't matter, because when life gives you a gift so wonderful, it's not reasonable to be angry. I had the pleasure of knowing you, and being loved by you, for however brief a time. When other people talk about their lives, they remember their travels, friends, and experiences. I remember you, you who allowed me to explore a part of myself that would have else been left untouched. I remember this beautiful man allowing me to love him so much, it set me apart for all time. And so, what makes me so unique that it's heartbreaking, is you. I am so glad I got to love you.

I used to be this wide-eyed girl that had all these dreams and hopes and ambitions. I was so angry, so wrenchingly angry, that something like this happened to me. 'Why?' I used to ask myself. It's not fair. But then, I realize that it's not fair because its life. I've had so many unfair hands dealt to me, and a lot of bad luck and this just takes the cake. I'm smiling, by the way. After all, the crippling effects of my luck were points of debate amongst us. My dreams weren't that great, I'll admit, but they were dreams. Edward, I wonder where dreams go? When we dream them and put them away, do they just be or do they live on somewhere… in the recesses of the universe, hidden and sparkling and fulfilled in some way? I think they're too beautiful to just vanish. But, I'm rambling.

You'll wonder what I meant when I said I heard your voice in my head. I was reckless, and I broke the promise I made you, but for the most miraculous flashes of time, I heard your voice. It was beautiful hallucination, and for a time I thought I'd lost my mind. It was the sweetest form of insanity. I used to do dangerous things like ride on motorcycles, and cliff diving into the ocean. But, then, as I got bogged down by college work and realized how idiotic I was being, I stopped hearing your voice. I hope that before the end, I hear your voice one last time. And then, death won't be so scary. Because I am frightened, I'm frightened that I will pass on to a world which you won't be able to enter.

My Edward, I've written this rather long-winded letter for one purpose. That, perhaps in the distant future when I am long gone, you will read words that I once I wrote and think of me for a short space in time, and that I may get the chance to say goodbye. Please give my love to everyone - Alice and Jasper, Esme and Carlisle, and Emmett and Rose. Goodbye, Edward.

Love always,

Bella.

**o8o**

Bella signed her name, folded up the precious pages and kissed the paper. She then carefully sealed her heart away in the small, non-descript envelope bearing Edward's name.

Then, for the first time since receiving the news months ago, she set her face upon her arms resting on the desk, and cried. She wept for her father and mother, for her best friend who loved her more than she could love another again. She shed her tears for the family she would never have, and for the golden-eyed boy who she had given her whole heart to, and would never see again. But, most of all she cried for herself and her frail heart.

**o8o**

A year later Alice Cullen sat in a coffee shop off the Magnificent Mile in Chicago. She ordered a black coffee for appearance's sake and settled into a comfortable armchair. There was something niggling the back of her immense vampire brain – and that didn't happen very often. It was almost a human feeling. She had been thinking about what exactly it was like...an almost vision fluttering at the edges of her consciousness, being blocked somehow, unable to come through.

The sound of a man excitedly crying out broke Alice out of her reverie.

"Isabella!"

Alice gasped as whatever barrier was blocking the vision shattered, and it flooded through. But it wasn't just one. She felt like she was drowning, suffocating, in the emotion and visceral memory that inundated her. Images flashed before her eyes, each one hammering into her. And for the first time in her memory, she felt shivers wracking her small body, her throat closing, and her stomach lurching.

With shaking hands she withdrew her iPad from the depths of her handbag and pulled up her internet browser. With a few taps and swipes she came upon the website she wanted and navigated to the section she wanted.

There, in the Peninsula Daily News' September 2nd issue, under the Obituaries section was the name Swan, Isabella Marie. She clicked the hyperlink and saw a candid picture of Bella laughing accompanied by a simple message.

"_Isabella Marie Swan, surrounded by her friends and family, passed away due to heart disease in her Forks residence. She was 23._

_Services: No services have been announced. In lieu of flowers, her family request that you donate to the Myocarditis Foundation in Bella's memory_."

**o8o**

**A/N: The End.**

**So what do you think?**


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